This post took awhile to write. Not because it was difficult to put into words. It was difficult for me to tell others, because some will not understand. This is also something that brings me to tears, so it is hard to sit down and write it out.
I have some wonderful fur babies. I have also lost some amazing fur babies. I loved them all dearly and miss every single one. One was my boy, one of my soul mates. Yes you can have an animal who is a soul mate. Soul mates are not always romantic. They can be family and friends as well. He was one of mine. I could see how he felt looking in his eyes. Moe was my boy. When I lost him, I was lost. At the time we had Moe, Lillie and Sophie. Today, we still have Sophie. Lillie and Sophie had 2 years together where they truly loved being together. Before that, it was a struggle. Lillie hadn’t gotten along with Moe since she was a puppy. They simply tolerated each other. Sophie loved Moe, so she and Lillie didn’t get along a lot. We were at the end of our rope trying to get them all to get along, so I know Moe decided it was time for him to leave, to allow them to enjoy each other. That breaks my heart, but they really did love each other after that.
Then we found out Lillie had cancer. I worked long and hard to help her, but in the end lost her. She was my baby. She slept in the bed with me every night for 6 years, from her third night with us. I was devastated. It took me 3 days fighting with myself to let her go. Sophie was devastated. Then 4 months later, by accident, I found a puppy. She was born 3 months to the day after Lillie passed and she was able to come home with us on Lillies birthday. I had to have her and she was the only one left. Just from her picture, I knew she was ours and Lillie helped me find her.
We brought her home. 7 of us tried to come up with a name and no one was satisfied. Looking around a book store with my oldest, I spotted a name on a book and said what about that one. And her name was decided. Maya.
She and Sophie loved each other, cuddled all the time. She was my baby. Then our lives changed drastically. My marriage broke up when she was 8 months old. She was confused and missed her daddy who just was gone one day. It broke my heart to see her in pain. Then she and Sophie stopped getting along. To much female hormones and both of them missing their daddy. So many friends of my girls coming in and out of the house to keep them company with the break up of our family, really threw Maya off. She started to get really miserable and not happy with anyone but me.
Fast forward to March 23/2021. I was sitting on the couch and Maya crawled up, looked me straight in the eyes, and I heard in my head, “why did daddy leave us?” That threw me off. I thought, why did I think that? I know it needed to happen. I have moved on from that hurt. Neither of us were happy and we needed to go our separate ways. So why on earth would I think that. And then it hit me. I have known since bringing this special girl home, she has the same eyes as Moe and she has some sort of connection to Lillie. They brought me this little girl when I needed her most, and when Sophie needed her. It wasn’t me who thought that, it was her and I could hear her.
Instantly I responded, I don’t know but I’m here with you always. Next, I messaged one of my closest friends and told her. She said, yup that would be her you heard. You could do that for other people. Help them hear what their animals are telling them. Help them get closure for those fur babies they have lost. Every since that conversation, Maya has been happier with everyone. She just needed to know none of us are leaving her. Animals feel fear, pain, loss and love just like we do. When they lose someone they love, they hurt. Just like us, they need their family, their loved ones to be there for them. They are family and see us as their family, giving us unconditional love. Like I said, this was hard to write. When I started to cry, Maya crawled up on the couch, gave me some kisses and once I was calm, lied down next to me and is sleeping soundly. She needs me just as much as I need her.
This is my first post and I’m excited to be starting.
With this, things have changed and will be changing as I continue to evolve as a person and practitioner.
A bit of an update. I have been practicing as a Herbalist since 2005 and a Manual Osteopath since 2014. My life changed drastically in 2019, forcing me to focus more so on osteopathy. February 2020 I injured my hand which has had a huge impact on my osteopathic practice, forcing me to again make huge changes, however, it is allowing me to get back to my love of herbal medicine and focus on my spiritual journey.
Last year I started studying plant spirit medicine and medical astrology. This year I am adding to my current studies hypnotherapy, past lives, shadow work and human design. With all the changes that have come in my life over the last 3 years, so has a lot of stress and uncertainty. This past year has been hard for everyone. And I want to be able to help others who have been where I was and am.
In looking at human design, astrology and shadow work, you can truly get to who you really are and why you are the way you are. As I continue my journey with my own shadow work and human design, I’ll share my experiences.
I am also excited to be taking my herbal studies in a slightly different direction. Herbalists have always looked at the individual holistically. However now, when looking at them with astrology, and looking at the plants in an astrological and spiritual way. I now get an entirely different way to work with an individual to treat them holistically.
I am excited to be evolving my practice and to share my stories.
Until next time,